WHO AM I FIRST?

Dear Soul Sister,

Let me ask you something: “Who are you first; Mother, Wife, or Woman?” It’s a question that hits deep, doesn’t it? It’s one we all ask ourselves at some point, especially in those quiet moments of self reflection. So let’s talk about it! Because, sis, I need to remind you of something important: before you were anything to anyone else, you were YOU…a whole, complete, beautiful woman in your own right.

I know how easy it is to get lost in the titles we wear. When you’re a mom, your life revolves around your kids; their needs, their joys, their everything. And as a partner, your world can become so intertwined with theirs that you forget where you end and they begin. I’ve been there, looking in the mirror and only seeing the mom or the partner staring back, wondering, What happened to the woman I used to know?

But here’s the truth: being an amazing mom and a loving partner starts with being a whole, fulfilled woman. The love you pour into your family can only come from the love you’ve already poured into yourself. Just like you can’t pour from an empty cup, you can’t fully show up for the people you love if you’re running on empty. And sis, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.

Now let me ask you this: What makes you, YOU? What lights you up? What are your passions, your dreams? When’s the last time you did something just because it made you happy? When did you last take time to nurture your growth and goals? These things shouldn’t feel like luxuries. They’re vital parts of who you are.

And here’s the best part: prioritizing yourself doesn’t make you any less of a mom or a partner. It makes you more. When you take care of yourself, you’re showing up as the best version of you for the people you love. You’re setting an example for your kids, teaching them the importance of self love and individuality. You’re bringing more joy, energy, and fulfillment into your relationships.

So here’s what I want you to do: give yourself some grace to rediscover the woman underneath all the roles you play. Dream a little. Spend time with yourself. Set aside moments for self care and the things that make your heart happy. Your identity isn’t just about what you do for others; it’s about the fire inside you, the dreams you carry, and the passions that make you uniquely YOU.

Remember, this isn’t a race or something you have to “get right.” It’s a journey, a loving and gentle process of coming back to yourself. You’re not choosing between being a mother, a wife, or a woman. You’re embracing the incredible, dynamic human being who embodies all of those roles and so much more.

You’ve got this, sis. Your journey is just taking a new, exciting, and beautiful direction. And, I’m cheering you on every step of the way.

Love Always,

Lori